Two under two?!
I had such a hard time wrapping my head around having a second baby while I was still getting the hang of having my first. How on earth was I to manage two under two, keep up with the housework, my virtual assistant jobs, and find to room in my heart for another when it was already so full?
To me, I felt like I didn’t have enough time alone with my first before bringing a second into this world. It was knowing he’ll never remember the fun times and memories of just us the way I will that really struck a cord with me. I felt guilty my entire second pregnancy for wanting more time alone with my first and that he was still so little. I was worried I wouldn’t be able to love that second baby as much as my first. I shed so many tears over this constant internal battle I was dealing with. That all went right out the door the moment I brought my second baby into this world. My love for her was instantaneous. And it was official, I had two under two.
So there I was, with a toddler and a newborn — both equally difficult stages in their own ways. I was getting to know my new little human through constant feedings, naps and wet diapers, while my toddler just had his world rocked with a new addition and was figuring out where he fit in. All the while, I felt like I just got hit by a bus and was wearing the worlds largest adult diaper, praying to God I didn’t pass anything “the size of a golf ball.” But hey! I could finally sleep on my stomach again. WRONG! Breastfeeding robbed me of that luxury too (it was just too uncomfortable!).
When it finally fell into place
I was at playground with one of my girlfriends whose daughter is the same age as my son (totally matching energies) and we were catching up. She had asked me something to which I responded, “I don’t know, I’m a first time mom.” That’s when it hit. But I’m not….I’m a second time mom. It’s just, I’m still going through first-time-mom experiences.
That’s when it clicked and the pieces started to make sense. There certainly was always enough room in my heart, I found that out immediately.
There will also be endless amounts of fun memories to make, and it’s a thousand times better with two (under two) now! I might be a novice mother, but I still have a few tricks up my sleeve. And you know what? First time experiences are never going to stop for the rest of our lives.
The reality of it all
As for the housework, it gets done when it gets done. It’s not a huge deal if it gets put off till the weekend when I have an extra set of hands. The great thing about virtual assisting is its on my time, and its as much work as I choose to pick up…or not! Sometimes, if I’m lucky, I can get the two kids down for a nap at the same time and use that to prioritize what I feel really needs to be done, be it work related, personal, or cleaning… it’s all working out.
The two under two life isn’t for the faint of heart, if I’m being completely honest. It’s difficult. It’s testing. It requires patience. For me, there’s at least a 75% chance I’m going to be late anywhere I go… and on top of that it’s a pain just getting out the door these days. However, I try to keep in mind, like the few stages we’ve already passed, I know this phase won’t always be this difficult and will soon pass, too.
Looking to the future
So, as the loving LC said to me in the hospital just after giving birth to my second… “Love em, feed em, keep them safe.” Always remember that just because it’s hard now, doesn’t mean that it will alway be this way. Just keep swimming. And welcome to the world of two under two!