Each time we get ready for a new year, talk starts swirling about resolutions and habits and all the things. And while all of it sounds great on paper, what does it look like in real life, for real moms?
Kara Kazemba, LCSW, is the owner of Ancora Wellness in Hillsboro, Oregon. She took some time to chat with us about setting intentions and resolutions that stick. Here is her take on what this looks like for moms.
New Year, New You?
While we may not always follow through 100% on our resolutions, it’s still a valuable process to contemplate, verbalize, and take steps toward habits and changes we’d like to make in our lives. The goal isn’t perfection, but progress. And how you define progress is up to you!
So as you read through these tips and thoughts, remember that your progress is uniquely yours and no one else’s business. Kara offers the following variations on a theme when it comes to habits and resolutions…find something that sounds good to you and give it a try!
Traditional Resolutions
This category includes what most of us think of when it comes to “New Year’s Resolutions.” That is, they tend to be big picture goals that can cover a lot of ground.
Some examples of traditional resolutions include:
- “I will spend more one-on-one time with each child this year.”
- “I’ll focus on improving our family’s health and nutrition.”
- “I will get our home organized and clutter-free.”
Why might this work for you?
This type of goal-setting can work for moms because we already spend a lot of our time working with big picture thinking. Many moms have a running list in their head of all the short-term and long-term needs for their children and families, so this 10,000 mile view of resolutions might make sense for you.
SMART Goals
These goals dig into the particulars more than a traditional resolution does. Based on the acronym SMART, resolutions in this category will be:
- Specific
- Measurable
- Achievable
- Relevant
- Time-bound
Rather than a big-picture plan, SMART goals require more detail to keep you hyper-focused on the steps you need to complete. You’re likely to make many SMART goals if you choose this path. As you complete one, you can choose another!
Some examples of SMART goals include:
- “I will schedule 30 minutes of self-care three times a week for the next month.”
- “I will declutter one drawer every weekend for the next eight weeks.”
- “I will cut up three different veggies each Sunday to snack on during the week.”
Why might this work for you?
Life with kids can feel chaotic. SMART goals help create clarity and structure amid the chaos and allow you to focus on small steps that directly impact how you feel and how your life flows. And since moms are great at meeting deadlines to keep everything working, the time-sensitive nature of SMART goals is useful.
Setting Intentions
Setting intentions is simply a way of stating the why behind your actions, thoughts, and habits. This process digs deeper than the day-to-day details of running a home.
Some examples of setting intentions include statements like the following:
- “I intend to bring more patience to my parenting.”
- “I intend to prioritize my emotional and mental well-being.”
- “I intend to nourish my family and myself for good health.”\
Why might this work for you?
Intentions let parents focus on the why behind their actions, helping them stay grounded in their values while managing endless to-do lists. Shifting your attention to the why helps you determine which tasks and activities align with your values and which can go by the wayside. Setting intentions also brings a better sense of control when life gets so busy.
Vision Boards
Vision board workshops are popular events these days and for a good reason. They can be very powerful when setting goals! But you don’t need a vision board workshop to create a visual manifestation of your hopes, dreams, goals, and plans. You can easily create this “document” all on your own. And you can even involve your children and partner in creating a family vision board!
When building your vision board, look for images and phrases that support your intentions and plans, such as:
- Vacations
- Career milestones
- Financial wellness
- Nutritious food
Why might this work for you?
Moms are often very visual planners. A vision board can be a creative outlet and an ongoing reminder of personal and family aspirations. It gives you a daily glimpse at the things that are important to you, helping keep your motivation high.
Habit Stacking
This method of reaching your goals comes from S. J. Scott’s book, Habit Stacking: 97 Small Life Changes That Take Five Minutes or Less. The premise is that since humans are habitual creatures, if we stack a new habit with an existing one, we’re more likely to stick with it and see the results we want.
For example, habit stacking for moms might look like any of the following:
- “After packing school lunches, I’ll do five minutes of stretching.”
- “While waiting at school pickup, I’ll practice Spanish with my language app.”
- “When I make my grocery list, I will add three things I’m thankful for.”
Why might this work for you?
Moms are multitasking pros, and habit stacking ties self-improvement goals to everyday routines. You’re already doing so many repetitive tasks to keep everything running smoothly, why not add some new habits at the same time?
Accountability Partnerships or Groups
It’s hard to establish new habits and meet big goals in a vacuum. We are social creatures, after all! Finding a partner or group for accountability while you reach for your resolutions can help keep you on track.
You could try:
- Joining a walking group with other moms.
- Setting weekly check-ins with a friend about self-care or parenting goals.
- Finding a faith-based group that aligns with your beliefs for support and accountability.
Why might this work for you?
An accountability buddy can help moms stay motivated while also fostering meaningful connections. It can also provide someone with an outside view to encourage your progress…they may see progress in you that you can’t see in yourself!
Affirmations
Those of us who grew up in the Saturday Night Live era with Daily Affirmations with Stuart Smalley might get a little chuckle out of the idea of affirmations. But the reality is that how we speak to ourselves is crucial to our success.
Some examples of daily self-talk include:
- “I am doing my best, and that is enough.”
- “I am creating a happy and healthy home for my family.”
- “My body is strong and can help me accomplish my goals.”
Why might this work for you?
Motherhood is emotionally demanding. Affirmations can build resilience and foster a positive outlook even when things are not so rosy. Repeating affirmations helps shape your attitude, boost your energy, and keep you focused on your goals. This practice also helps moms counter self-doubt and appreciate their daily efforts.
Goal Setting as a Family
Kara also offers this final tip: incorporate family involvement wherever possible. For instance, set shared goals as a family, or create a gratitude jar where everyone contributes. This not only builds support but also teaches your kids the value of goal-setting and reflection.
Regardless of the path you choose to reach your goals, remember that any progress is worth celebrating. Tackle these new habits with enthusiasm, but also give yourself grace on the days you miss the mark. Tomorrow is a new opportunity to start fresh.
Kara Kazemba, LCSW, is the owner of Ancora Wellness in Hillsboro, OR. Ancora offers mental health services, naturopathic care, and nutrition counseling. It is an inclusive space that also offers gender-affirming care. The staff can treat folks from age 14 years and up in their beautiful, welcoming clinic.
