Please Stop Saying You’re ‘Just a Mom’


I was texting with a new friend recently, and asked if she could get together for lunch during the week. I prefaced my question by asking if she “works” because, as a mom who works outside of the home, it is easier for me to grab lunch with a friend during the week when I am child-free than on the weekend with toddler in tow. My new friend responded, “No, I’m just a mom.”

I cringed.

Just a Mom

No. You are NOT just a mom. When I ask you, fellow mom, if you work, I am not judging you if you stay at home with your child(ren). I do not think I work harder than you because my work is at an office versus at home. I don’t view you as less valuable to society than I am. In fact, to some degree I envy you. Not because you get to sit around all day, “hanging out, doing nothing,” as my ex-husband used to say. I envy you because you are doing the most important job in the world, even though you probably are undervalued for it.

Being a mom has no hours, there are no vacations, and no sick days. Some moms have lots of help from family and friends. Some do not. Some children need more attention from their parents, and some require less. There are moms who work outside the home because they want to; while others do it because they have to. Still others work full-time at home as mothers.

Every mother’s situation is different, but we are all moms working to raise our little ones into responsible, capable, and accepting adults. So, if you ask me, it’s time for moms to start supporting and respecting our fellow moms in whatever their roles are. Because if we don’t, then how can we ever expect our husbands, our bosses, or even those little eyes and ears watching and listening to our every move to respect us as well?

How do you feel about the “Just a Mom” phrase?

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Hyland is mom to two-year-old Isla and fur-baby, Chester, with a full-time career as a corporate attorney. She grew up in New Orleans, where she developed a passion for cooking that later lead her to culinary school in New York. Although she isn’t often preparing beef borguignon or mile high soufflés, those skills come in handy when juggling a demanding career with picky toddler eating habits. She later moved to Denver where she attended law school, acquired a love for skiing and biking and started a family. In order to be closer to family as a single mom, Hyland packed up her bags and moved to Portland, where she is growing to love the rain through the eyes of her sweet and imaginative daughter. Hyland loves traveling and is currently looking for the next passport stamp for her and Isla.


  1. Why did you preface it with, “Do you work?” I think that was the sentence that inspired your friend to say she is just a mom. Being “just a mom” myself, I know that it is a lot of work, unpaid, like working for a charity.

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