{Moms Who Inspire} An Interview With My Grandmother

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My Grandmother with her family in 1997.
My Grandmother with her family in 1977. My mom is in the red shirt and I’m in her arms.

As the mom of an only child, it is difficult for me to imagine having two or even three kids. It is completely unfathomable to me to think about having a family any bigger than that. But that is just what my grandmother did. She is the mother of NINE children, seven girls and two boys and the grandmother and great-greatmother to over FORTY (say what?!). When the idea to write about “Moms Who Inspire” came up, it was a no-brainer that I’d do an interview with my amazing, almost 90 year old (she’ll kill me for telling you her age) grandmother who still lives on her own, goes to water aerobics a couple times a week and amazingly has an email account that facilitated this heartwarming Q&A dialogue with her.

Her name is Inarose Zuelke. She is a native Oregonian who grew up on the East Side of Portland, went to nursing school at University of Portland and raised all nine of her children in Willamette Heights in the southwest hills of Portland. Growing up, she ran a tight ship; you didn’t cross her that’s for sure. She had no problem reminding  all of the in-laws, “You can be replaced.” Today, she is an absolute gem, the matriarch of our family, and while I still wouldn’t want to cross her, I can’t imagine life without her.

Q: What was the best thing about having nine children? The worst?

A: The best: Getting the “family rate” when I took them skiing up on Mt Hood! The worst:  Having too many teenagers at once… most of them in the “I hate mom” stage.

Q: What was it like raising your kids in Portland in the 50s and 60s?

A: Portland was much smaller, of course.  In our neighborhood, everyone knew everyone; all of the kids knew each other. Even today, they have a Facebook page (I think that is what it is called) named  “I grew up in Willamette Heights”.  And if anyone got in trouble, we all hoped one of ours was not involved.  We were fortunate to have one of the first TVs, so we had crowds of kids to visit, which made it easy to know where ours were!

Q: What are your three mom tricks?

A: Shame on you, Jennie Lou,  I don’t have any mom tricks! (Author’s note:  She definitely has tricks. She just isn’t sharing any of them here apparently. I’ll work on that for a different post!)

Q: There’s a lot of talk today about free range parenting? What are your thoughts on letting kids roam?

A: Finding a balance between safety and smothering is a problem I am glad I don’t have to worry about. With so many children, our yard always had a crowd of kids playing.  I think between them and the dog, a predator would have been scared away.  I would not want to be a parent that had to face up to the fact that, in order to teach my child freedom, I had to face putting him in danger.

Q: Any advice to other moms?

A: Ask me how I am blessed with nine awesome kids who are all contributing adults?  I have no answers to that one. I have nine who love each other… although they don’t always LIKE one another all the time.  It’s probably due to their dad, who constantly told them that he didn’t care what they did, he just wanted them to LOVE one another. 

Creating a FAMILY  unit is very important, I think.  Today that seems rather difficult with so many moms working outside of the home and kids’ schedules interfering.  I was fortunate to be able to be a stay at home mom; dinner was always at the same time and with everyone there… except dad because his job kept him on a different schedule. But he was always home as soon as possible and could spend time with the family in the evening.

Q: Any other tips?

A:  I wish I knew then the best way to raise a child… they all grew up before I realized the best way to do it! I know now that love is the answer… to teach responsibility, educate,  etc., etc., yes, but the foundation of that has to be love.   

Good grief, Jennie, you’ve made me pontificate! (At least, I think that is what I just did.)  I got to this old age realizing that I have many questions that I do not know how to answer.  Hope this is what you were looking for.  Let me know if I missed something.

Love, Gram

My family in 2010. My gramma is in the middle of the picture.
Most of my family in 2010. My grandma is in the middle of the picture.

 

What a treat that I still get to have this wonderful mom, grandmother and great-grandmother in my life. If you are lucky enough to have an grandparent/mentor/older person in your life, I encourage you to take the time to ask them about their life, what they know and what they’ve learned along the way. I’m sure you won’t regret it.

1 COMMENT

  1. Cute! I’m the daughter of a mother who’s the 11th of 14 that met you at the Mom’s Blog get-together. I was looking forward to seeing this article.. : ) So awesome to have your grandmother to ask. My grandmother passed away more than 10 years ago now. This felt like a glimpse into their childhood picture.

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