Motherhood is difficult. I thought it was hard with one child, and then we went and did it again. Baby number two just joined the family. We are only a month in as a family of four, however the doubling of diapers, dishes, and laundry creates full days and nights in our home. Simultaneously, sweet snuggles, milky cuddles. and hilarious toddler moments fill those days and nights. Currently life is a beautiful blend of tenderness and chaos. I am working to embrace motherhood just as it is in the present season vs. someday.
Recently I was reading Jen Hatmaker’s latest book, Mess and Moxie: Wrangling Delight out of this Wild and Glorious Life. Yes, reading has re-entered my life during what seems like all-night nursing sessions. Her words struck my mama heart hard. “Rather than waiting for the someday or, conversely, imagining our someday life is in the rear-view mirror and we’ll never reclaim it, what if we embraced it all right now: all the hope, all the thrill, all the growth, all the possibility? What if everything is available to us right here in the middle of ordinary, regular life?”
It is easy to imagine that things will be better, easier or my family will be happier….‘Someday.’
The Myth of My “Someday”
Someday my newborn’s tongue-tie revision will heal, and breastfeeding will be smoother. Someday when my baby is sleeping through the night everything will fall into place.
Someday when the kids are all potty trained, we will explore the world like we hoped.
Someday we will own a home in Portland. Then we can entertain more and finally host more often.
Someday I’ll be back to my prebaby weight, and I’ll fit into my clothes again and be happier.
Or Someday I’ll be back to my wedding weight, ALL my clothes will fit again and life will miraculously improve, ha!
And while goal setting and dreaming have a place as we journey through motherhood, I find that these “someday” circumstances often rob me of fully embracing and enjoying the day in front of me. Because reaching our someday circumstances will bring new challenges. Motherhood continually teaches me how everything changes and shifts, old challenges fade and new ones emerge.
So tonight I’ll read stories, sing songs, give tickles, and tuck my toddler in bed. Then I will settle in with my newborn on my chest until we all fall asleep. While these actions may seem mundane, I will celebrate the small ways we see beauty and love shared in our home. Because in the end, I’m finding it most important to soak in the someday that is right now in the life that is right in front of me.